I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
