i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
