So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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