Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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