I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
