She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
