Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
