Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
