so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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