on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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