How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
