Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I came so hard my ears popped.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
