You're my little dorito
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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