we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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