Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
