with your own penis?
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
