Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
