My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
