he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Randomize
