hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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