Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
