ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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