she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
