Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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