i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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