That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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