Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
