and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
So squirting runs in the family.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
