When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
