Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Randomize
