Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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