If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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