I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
