I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
