How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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