she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I don't deserve a penis
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize