Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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