Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
