after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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