He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
