your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
the day after is always just damage control
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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