Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
