sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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