There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
