We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
