I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
