so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
