So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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