it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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