Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
