saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
this will be a night to untag.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
